Happy New Year! We had a great holiday season. Right around Thanksgiving, I began going out without a scarf or hat. I first attempted no head covering when I was out of town, by walking into a grocery store with Dan. I felt very exposed, but over time, I grew more comfortable with my short hairstyle. Comments and words from others have been an encouragement to me during the season of having short hair, which has made me feel less feminine.
Annie has enjoyed snow in Minnesota and North Carolina this year– it has been fun to watch her excitement.
The past few months have kept me consistently occupied with appointments. More than one person has asked me if things are “back to normal now.” The true answer to that question is no. I was told early on after my surgery that things won’t be the same, but I will discover a new normal. I have dragged my feet on accepting the new normal, but I am beginning to sense an acceptance and peace about this new normal.
I have a team of people helping me through the changes. My oncologist, gynecologist, and physical therapist have all worked together to find the best treatment for me. With the removal of my ovaries and uterus, my body is very low on certain hormones, which has affected me. My gynecologist and oncologist have suggested various options for treating symptoms without having the option to use hormone replacement therapy (since ovarian cancer is estrogen fed.) I wasn’t really sure what a physical therapist could do for me, but I have been amazed at how helpful the work with her has been. I had not realized how my body responded to the trauma of two surgeries and cancer in my abdominal and pelvic floor area. There is still a considerable amount of tension and pain in this area. I did not even realize my body was so traumatized! So, just as it is taking me time to emotionally and mentally recover, my body is still overcoming the challenges of surgery and chemotherapy. Please continue to pray that I would be diligent in caring for myself- physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Having a toddler to care for can make these goals extra challenging, but I want to persevere day by day.
God has taught me so much. He is good and perfect. God never makes mistakes. “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9